The Cool Kids of Architecture


Missed Calls

Volume 7, Issue 06
March 7, 2022

Dear student,

Before you apply, please review the following requirements for eligibility:

Are you a cool kid
Studying at an architecture institution?

Thinking Postmodernism is mid
And preaching socialist redistribution

Popular kids must seize the means of production
How dare you become a corporate intern

After skiing in Gstaad,
You’ll work for Robert Stern.

If you’re a master at Grasshopper,
You will be an instant hottie

You know Bao Bao bags are proper,
Balenciaga footwear if you’re dotty.

The cool kids of architecture follow meme pages
Oh Em Ayy, Dank Lloyd Wright, Load Bearing Column

They take prestigious internships with zero wages
Because money isn’t a problem.

Pay for software?
Any free trial is just a fling

Their list of emails is longer
Than the works of Francis D. K. Ching.

If you mention Kanye, the cool kids will grimace
While they wear his latest shoes

Listening to Zizek is equanimous
But Peterson and Musk are “fools.”

To join, you must attend the elites
New England grad schools are a requirement

They get the best speakers and so many treats
The starchitect, theorist, cocktail environment.

If you want to impress,
Then of course you must show

Why you despise the West,
Over drinks at your summer chateau.

Another requisite is exclusive use of gumball
Absolutely mandatory for all cool kids in archi

Don’t forget writing for Paprika about urban sprawl
And disavowing any systems of hierarchy

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Volume 7, Issue 06
March 7, 2022