All Hail the Architect


Architecture Kool-Aid

Volume 7, Issue 00
August 30, 2021

Like teacher, like pupil,
Passing on the cult’s morals
Sip. Wearing black is crucial
In the architecture school forum

They tell you how to ideologically subscribe
Each school is a tribe,
With the Southern Californians as the quintessential case—
Salomons and Tabis all over the place!

That competitive nature
Who just wants to be an architect?
Ingrained in our major,
I will become a Starchitect!

Yes, the Pritzker Prize is vital
Late nights in the studio, no life and no spouse
Just to win that title

Design Intelligence rankings assess relevance each year
Wherein AAP and GSD seem to always persevere.
Meanwhile, everyone wants to be at the top
We’ve gotten the best speaker lineup, have we not?!

Getting Virgil to lecture is goals
Students flocking like sheep
To have him sign their soles

While the provosts compete to become the best school,
Students model by fighting for that summer stint
BIG and MAD and OMA—they’re all so cool
Claiming no 9-5 mentality, take the hint

Indoctrinated by crits and thesis prizes
That are meant to prepare us for a field “full of surprises”
Professionals competing for prestigious commissions
And using students’ ideas without their permission

Professors giving lectures in Issey Miyake
Students wax on Comme, wax off Y-3
Like they’re following Mr. Miyagi

You see,
This this is the Architect’s cult
Perpetuated by the academy

If you don’t like it, you can make the engineering jolt

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Volume 7, Issue 00
August 30, 2021