October

October and the smooth entropy she brings, making my hair curl into little tender snakes that bounce when I walk. In October, I also move my fingers between yours, the warmth from your glowing being suffusing into my hand, thawing my purple nails back to warmth. An expanse of water cast down in hazy rupture as molecules of steamy air coil around our arms. We look for nothing and encounter it and more in each other’s eyes. In yours, the richest earth, and so gentle.

How we move through the night, skipping and dreaming. Today, Bed Stuy, maybe next season, across the world again. You make me laugh full belly and I remember being a child. I remember when we met, hardly adults, minds hungry. I would watch you and think of your earnest quiet, learned how much fire and kindness is behind it, upholding it.

There I was again, head full of your traces in words and the chemical aftermath of your touch lingering along my synapses, beholding your sweet brilliance as the October days encased our bodies, batting eyes and professing exquisite simplicities. October, and I’m on my way to fully letting my mask off around you. Stability as I have never known. Dancing through time, across years and cities and sharpening of ontologies, re-understandings and lapses and griefs, with you.

I watch the way sunned air flows across your hands. You weave it as silk, and how I wish to be passed across and between those long fingers. October and her cool air, and you are the scarf that adorns my face, tucked behind my ears and which I grasp to access your beauty, your presence, your belief in me. That you are is a treasure. I revisit the grace of this with each morning inhalation, and it brings honey to my eyes.

It is almost October again, nearly a whole rotation in your orbit, and how it soothes me to have arrived again with you. October and the sureness and elegance of that which did not need to be, but somehow, remarkably, is. That it happened anyway, that we choose to keep making it happen, that the alchemy of time and dreams aligned just so to build this, is all I need, my love.