Health Hazards of YSoA
Just What the Doctor Ordered: Health and Architecture
February 7, 2019
Are you looking to get out of studio for a couple days? Follow this step by step guide, and you’ll be on your way out of YSoA and getting that doctor’s note in no time. You may experience sneezing, wheezing, coughing, fever, headaches, nausea, allergies, inflammation, and rock bottom self-confidence in the process. For the complete list, please refer to the drawing.
1. Mismanage Your Stress
Keep your cortisol levels high. Stay stressed and your immune system will go on vacation, letting the flu and colds make a new home in your body.
2. Breathe In Lots Of Chemicals
Laser cut lots of acrylic, use only the strongest epoxies, cast resin in studio. It’s only courteous to share the fumes. Make sure to never use a dust mask or respirators with P95 particulate filters and organic vapor cartridges. These keep your lungs nice and pink, and we don’t want that.
3. Spend Every Waking Hour Of Your Day In An Airtight Building Filled With Said Chemicals
To hell with natural ventilation and outside air. Recirculated air is where it’s at.
4. Cut Foam In Studio
You see that smoke coming off the wire cutter? That’s styrene gas, potentially carcinogenic, and smells great! Use it in a poorly ventilated corner of studio for maximum effect.
5. Have A Smoke
It’s a great social activity.
6. Be Sedentary And Order UberEats
Why walk to the local salad shop? You deserve chicken nuggets and a greasy burger.
7. Avoid A Hygienic Studio Space
Washing your hands after going to the washroom only takes time away from studio. Use spray paint and spray glue in studio. Keep the studio space dirty and dusty.
8. Mental Health?
01 Spray paint fumes
02 Becoming a target
03 Self-esteem issues
04 Getting dropped from a keg stand
05 Toxic masculinity
06 Vitamin D deficiency on the bridge
07 Anything on the undergraduate balcony
08 Lack of sleep
09 Casting resin in studio
10 Overheating on the fifth floor
11 Stress-induced smoking
12 Making friends with the mice
13 Coming late to Bob’s class
14 Angry email from Phil Bernstein
15 Bumping your head on the stairs
16 Getting locked out
17 Mushroom cocktails
18 When your TF doesn’t bail you out in Formal analysis
19 Getting caught by Richard bringing coffee into Hastings
20 Carbon fiber experiments
21 Breathing Wood dust
22 Breathing concrete and plaster dust
23 Poor lifting technique
24 Getting caught not wearing protective eyewear
25 Sharp objects in the shop
26 Returning too many library books at once
27 Awkward small talk at Career Fair
28 Getting your next statement from the financial office
29 Catching the flu
30 Only drinking Soylent for a week
31 Ending up with the dungeon desk
32 Spraining ankle/stepping on pins during badminton
33 Forgetting to save your work
34 Laser cutter offgassing
35 Getting lost in the matrix of screens
36 Getting supervised at 6 on 7
37 Eating too much bread at the Bauhaus party
38 Haunting by the ghost of Paul Rudolph
39 Sitting in a Gehry chair for more than 10 minutes
40 Foam Cutter Fumes
41 Freezing on the seventh floor
42 3-d printer fumes
43 Food poisoning from eating moldy food
44 Attempting to use the bathrooms the weekend before finals
45 Scalded by near-boiling water
Model by Jack Lipson, M.Arch I 2018